I’d be a hypocrite if…

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I’d be a hypocrite if I constantly nag my son that:

1. He can be anything he wishes;

2. He can do anything he sets his mind to;

3. If he puts the effort into his dreams, they will inevitably come true…

And I don’t follow my own advice.

I’ve become a regular

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Yes, I’m now considered a regular at the local coffee shop. I see the others like me and we quietly acknowledge each others presence with the subtle head nod. No other interaction necessary – we are all very busy in our lives.

It’s all about the website construction right now. And it’s amazing how time seems to disappear as I get lost in my screen. My only reference point tends to be my empty mug and it’s subsequent refill.

Quiet day. But a rewarding day.

My Fashion Inspiration – Erin Wasson

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Quirky, fearless, unapologetic and effortlessly cool. These are the thoughts that come to mind when I think of Erin Wasson.

Not that I know her. Or have ever met her. Or seen her in real life…

Now, if I really sit down and analyze this statement, it feels a little strange that I can identify so strongly with only an image. Her brand. I only know that she exists because I have been told that she does. I have only seen what I have been “allowed” to see – yet her influence on me is as real as if I knew her personally. I can only imagine that we would hang out with a cold beer,where we would discuss our latest tattoos and how we never really connect with others because we seem to operate on different level. In this daydream, I see a swing porch in this conversation, dry grass and a hot setting sun…

So, even knowing that I have been fed all this potentially diluted data, I continue to use “her” as a template for my fashion life. I admire her photos for their stunning range. I emulate her apparent unfazed attitude daily. I seek to portray her easy, carefree confidence. But what is truly amazing is that she has communicated all of these thoughts and characteristics to me simply though a photo lens. And that is really where her true talent lies.

To always be quirky, fearless, unapologetic and effortlessly cool. My daily fashion mantra.

Thanks Erin.

Raw Sugar

Don't worry - I won't make this mistake

Don’t worry – I won’t make this mistake

Naming a company is not as easy as it seems. If you are not careful, the above can happen and that just looks foolish. Not planned or very well thought out. And once you start, it is really difficult (not to mention expensive) to go back to fix the gaff.

But then again, since I am learning about viral and social marketing – maybe this was all really planned by this business from the beginning in order to get the necessary sharing and reactions on all the social sites “omg – did you see this?!” Like. Share. Pin. RT. Hey, it works, because I just fell for it!

But since I am more interested in staying in business for a long time, I figure that it is safer to go with something that is authentic and genuine to my style and sense of design. Something that just resonates with me. And that’s how I came up with Raw Sugar. It makes me think of the soft and hard, the sweet and the edge. Exactly who I am.

And long legs are just so damn sexy! They deserve to be clothed in the same way 🙂

Apathy all around me

I know what I don't want anymore.

I know what I don’t want anymore.

I am someone who literally survives on “To Do” lists. It has become part of my daily routine over the years to sit down at my desk and map out my day over a cup of coffee. Helps to keep me focused (the lists – not the coffee…) But with all that I have to do now, this list is quietly getting longer and longer each day…and the faint of heart could easily develop an ulcer under its sheer weight of responsibility.

But what a welcome change! I have not experienced this type of focus, drive or enthusiasm in a very long time. You know when life seems to operate as a metronome, not quite as extreme as a Bill Murray “Groundhog Day” scenario but pretty damn close. Patiently waiting for each day to end and secretly dreading for the next one to occur, because you know that it will contain the same amount of enthusiasm as the one before it.

Same problems. Same solutions. Same joy. Same fears. Whatever.

This is NOT how I want to live my life anymore. This venture has awakened a fire within me where I am feeling younger, faster and more confident than ever before. It has been exactly what my soul has been craving for an untold number of years. I feel alive again. My need to visit my aesthetician has diminished although she is not as pleased as I with all this new found joy in my face…

The bank appointment…

Did I mention that I can sometimes be confident?

Did I mention that I can sometimes be confident?

Why are banks so scary?

I pay YOU every month to manage my money. As I am sitting in the reception area next the the fake plant with smooth jazz in the background, why do I feel like I am headed off to the principle’s office for causing a food fight in the cafeteria at lunch? (OK – I felt bad after that one when I was nine but whatever…)

I thought it was a good idea to set up an appointment with the manager to discuss my options and what was available to me as the owner of a new business. I thought that I also needed to know where I stood financially to make sure that not only I could start this venture, but also sustain it once the ball gets rolling. But mainly, I just wanted validation from a conservative source that my ideas had some merit to them.

Still, I feel like I am in trouble somehow.

I will admit that I enjoy shopping. I have been known to spend frivolously on Gucci and Helmut Lang. My aesthetician sends me gifts for paying her rent every month because of my rigourous nails, hair, waxing and lasering schedule…And I do have an entire closet dedicated from floor to ceiling only to my shoes…

I guess what is really making me nervous then about this appointment is the fact that I may be judged for my decisions. And that is a very sensitive topic for me. Sends me into a fight/flight mode almost instantly. But when I start to evaluate my situation, I have to say that I am doing pretty damn good – my bills are always paid in-full and on-time every month, I have savings, I own assets…

What do I have to be nervous about as I wait and quietly admire my beautiful Jimmy Choo’s?

The real reason I started all this…

Even though my goals have shifted over the course of this journey and I have (unknowingly) exposed talents that were held too deep within me that even I didn’t know their true value and possibilities until now – at the end of the day, my ankles are still freezing…

I need to complete this goal.

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They are finally on my body…

I now know that I am on the right track...

I now know that I am on the right track…

I attacked those leggings with my most critical eye the second I walked into her studio.

Obviously, minor adjustments still need to be made. A seam needed to be moved. A nip and tuck here and there. I had to re-iterate to her tiny 5 foot stature that yes! – it does still need to be longer to cover the ankles of my new 6’5 friends. But once I stood in front of the mirror, did the side turn in my heels and saw the end result of all my efforts, I squealed with delight.

And once I got into my car all alone at the end of the day, I had myself a little cry.

It has been an emotionally challenging week. I successfully threw myself off the cliff, landed in the water and came back up to the surface for air. My only problem now is – how do I swim to the shore?

Hmmm…