Apathy all around me

I know what I don't want anymore.

I know what I don’t want anymore.

I am someone who literally survives on “To Do” lists. It has become part of my daily routine over the years to sit down at my desk and map out my day over a cup of coffee. Helps to keep me focused (the lists – not the coffee…) But with all that I have to do now, this list is quietly getting longer and longer each day…and the faint of heart could easily develop an ulcer under its sheer weight of responsibility.

But what a welcome change! I have not experienced this type of focus, drive or enthusiasm in a very long time. You know when life seems to operate as a metronome, not quite as extreme as a Bill Murray “Groundhog Day” scenario but pretty damn close. Patiently waiting for each day to end and secretly dreading for the next one to occur, because you know that it will contain the same amount of enthusiasm as the one before it.

Same problems. Same solutions. Same joy. Same fears. Whatever.

This is NOT how I want to live my life anymore. This venture has awakened a fire within me where I am feeling younger, faster and more confident than ever before. It has been exactly what my soul has been craving for an untold number of years. I feel alive again. My need to visit my aesthetician has diminished although she is not as pleased as I with all this new found joy in my face…


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