I’m not going to lie, I am tired. I have been working two jobs for the last couple of months. All this secrecy has been exhausting. I have really pushed my limits in compartmentalizing my emotions, actions and thoughts. And I am pleased that my day job has not suffered as a result. People at work still have no clue what I do when I leave my cube at the end of the day…
This is the reality of a small e-commerce business. I am nowhere near a place where I can make this venture my sole source of income and put 100% of my energy and thoughts into it. I have a serious shoe addiction to support. And there are some things that I simply will not compromise on.
But I am feeling like I need to take a step back and breathe. I need to remind myself why I started all of this in the first place and what truly matters to my soul. I need to spend a little time and focus on me for once in my life. And it goes beyond me simply taking an afternoon to go shopping at my favourite little hole in the wall shops, sifting quietly through delicate racks of lace, chiffon and silk. I need to spend some time exploring other aspects of my life and to nurture them for a bit. Because by doing this, the positive benefits will inevitably spill over into this venture and allow for a greater sense of stability, creativity and success to be established.
Thankfully, I am in a bit of a holding pattern right now with this venture as I can do nothing but wait for other people to do what I have paid them to do. My planning was clean – I have given good lead times to account for any errors and scheduling issues. All I can do now is simply wait before I take things to the next level. And don’t get me wrong, I will get to that next level and much further beyond.
I just need to crack my (very thick) protective outer shell for a bit and allow a little warm sunshine to find its way through.